Causecast

by KAREN MURPHY, Contributing Writer

U.S. Circuit Judge Sonia Sotomayor, the name tripping so multi-syllabically off everyone’s lips, has been nominated to the Supreme Court to fill the position left vacant by the retiring David Souter. If confirmed, Judge Sotomayor will become the first Latina to join the Supremes, and the third woman, facts that are thrown about with abandon along with her public-housing, raised-by-a-single-mom background.

Are those things pertinent?

Sure they are. Those tidbits, along with her record as a judge (nearly 17 years on the federal bench — longer than any other sitting justice), are all we have to go on (lacking a really decent crystal ball) when imagining how she might vote.

Sure, we can read over the mind-numbing, eye-glazing list of Sotomayor’s (that name is getting easier to type) opinions and notable court cases, but what we really need is a cheat sheet. Flash cards. A big red, green or yellow light in the middle of her forehead that lights up "Yea!" or "Nay!" (or "We have no clue!") when asked about the hot-button topics that are sure to come up. Just telling us she’s "sort of liberal" doesn’t help.

Fine. You ask, we deliver. We threw this into the Causecastic Invention Machine just this morning, and along with a nice Frida Latina-pride unibrow, here’s a list of Judge Sotomayor’s red and green lights:

Employment Discrimination: RED. Meaning, she doesn’t like it. Won’t support it. New Haven firefighters, take that test over and get us some good applicants!

Fourth Amendment Rights: YELLOW. Just says no to strip searches. However, if you’re using a company computer, it’s time to erase the porn from the hard drive.

Environment: GREEN. EPA, you noodge. Stop picking at nits and protect the damn fish already. Sheesh.

Workplace Disability Discrimination: GREEN. Honey, if you come to work with a cane and dark glasses, you got it made. Just sayin’.

Finance: GREEN. You have fraud problem with your investment firm? You have our permission to sue the pants off them. Ahem.

Abortion: YELLOW. No one knows what the statement “The Supreme Court has made clear that the government is free to favor the anti-abortion position over the pro-choice position" really means, but since it came along with a ruling against an abortion rights group without addressing the underlying issue of abortion itself, it’s maddeningly unclear.

Sports: RED. Fine with me. But are baseball fans still holding a grudge after the World Series was cancelled in 1995? This could well be Sotomayor’s biggest stumbling block toward confirmation.

Image by Jay Tamboli, flickr